Christmas Time Bullshit
by Tankou001
Summary: Ino doesn't have a love for Christmas. Jiraiya's out to dfind a quick fling. Maybe Ino can make an honest man out of Jiraiya in time for Christmas and maybe Jiraiya can make Ino put a bit more faith in holiday romance.


Christmas Time Bullshit

Hey all! Tankou001 here with an all new fic! Merry Christmas everyone! I'm sorry I haven't been updating or anything lately. I've just been trying to get my life all cleared up and settled in, ready to move forward and all. I'm hoping that, sometime soon, I'll be able to get into college and take care of a furthered education. However, I had to come back for a Christmas fic, as I have made one for Christmas every year I have had an account and will continue to for as long as I am allowed.

Once again, this fic is a simple one-shot; no lemons or major plot-lines, no major connection to already existing fic time lines that I have going or stories currently moving on. Just a good ol' one shot Christmas story for all of my loving, and no doubt eager, fans ^^

This time around it's gonna be an interesting pairing! I decided to make a JiraIno fic this year for a friend of mine who I consider a good friend in alternative pairings and yuri fan above many others. Since I don't mind, at all, the pairing of Jiraya and Ino, I am more than happy to write a Christmas one-shot about them... And maybe a steamy private lemon later as an afterward for a few choice individuals who get my favor Xp

All of the rookies in this fic are 24 years old, including Ino. As for Jiraya... he doesn't matter, he's Jiraya XD

Enjoy!

{HR}

Snow fell around all of Konohagakure No Sato, as it did every year around Christmas. The people of Konoha were happy and in moods of varying festivity, children scooping up snow at their feet for snowball throwing and the parents watching merrily at the fun their children were having. Couples walked through the street, hands woven together and sweet nothings murmured from one partner to another in passionate romance. Of course, all of this had to be happening outside Yamanaka Flower Shop, where Yamanaka Ino herself sat and waited for customers, as doubtful as they would be at this time of day, month and year. Everyone was looking to shop for things, however, they weren't shopping for flowers until a few days had gone buy and Christmas proper was at their doorstep. So Ino was made to wait for nothing in the warm shop while people outside made merry with each other in the snow.

If only Shikamaru had come to Ino instead of Temari none of this would have been happening. Ino would have been able to be excused because she and Shikamaru would have been outside and making merry in the snow with everyone else. Instead Ino was forced to be single on Christmas, not a man in sight to grab but many in sight that were already, much to Ino's dismay, very taken for the holidays.

As the hours of her shift went by and Ino began to wonder about just closing the shop for a few hours, if not the whole day, the bell rang at the door, the wooden slab of deterrent opening as none other than Jiraiya, the toad sage of the sannin, stepped through the doorway, a smile wide on his face as he entered the store. A light humming came from his mouth as he wandered on in, not noticing Ino at all. "C-Can I help you... Jiraiya-dono?" Ino asked, a little amazed that the perverted hermit would be in her shop for any reason when "On The Job" flirting normally seemed to work better for him most of the time. He could take a woman to the flower shop of her choice and ask what she wanted instead of taking the risk of getting bad flowers before he ever saw a girl to target. Ino, like any good kunoichi of Konohagakure No Sato, knew that Jiraiya only cared to see women naked and to woo them, though he was a master of his art and definitely a powerful ninja.

Jiraya turned to Ino, still almost oblivious to the fact that she was who she was. "Oh, just searching around for the next honey I set my eyes on, I suppose, heh heh." Jiraiya chuckled as he eyed a sample bouquet of gardenias.

"Then you'll want something that catches the eyes quickly and keeps attention..." Ino said simply. This was all a job to her, selling flowers as she always did. After all, even if it was Jiraiya, it was still a potential customer who Ino had a responsibility in selling to. "That said, Gardenias are not the flower you want to show your sweetheart... whomsoever she is this week. For a Christmas time theme you want something delicate surrounding something striking and bold, like a single red rose surrounded by bluebells and snow blossoms." Of course that was just a bouquet option Ino had been playing with for a time (since last Christmas) but it didn't seem too bad.

Jiraiya looked back at Ino, now interested, or so she suspected. Had she given him a good choice. Sure enough the Sannin gave a grin and nodded. "I'll take one of those." Ino didn't take long to get to work on the bouquet. Jiraiya stood back and watched, his smile not fading. "So why aren't you out spending time with your boyfriend?" He asked Ino, looking her up and down. Now that she had grown up Ino filled quite the outfit, though she wasn't all too much different from when she had been sixteen, save for a larger bust line, taller figure and an extension to the already well formed body she had been developing. Her hair was still styled similarly and her outfit still almost identical, though now more suited to winter and with a bit of red and green flair for the holidays.

"Because my boyfriend," Ino started as she clipped the single rose stem back correctly and peeled back the outermost petals, "Has always liked another girl more than he has liked me... at least romantically. Never was my boyfriend to begin with and I can't get another one so close to Christmas time without breaking a couple up, which isn't what I want to do." 

"Sounds like you've got nothing better to do then, eh?" Jiraiya asked, leaning forward as Ino wrapped up some bluebells to make them flow outward from the single red rose like rippling water. "Any plans for the big day proper?"

"For lack of something better to do," Ino answered, clipping back the bad flowers from the snow blossoms, "I'm doing things with family, though I would prefer to be with a nice man for Christmas this year... not like I got to last year, after all..."

"Ya, it can be kind of rough like that." Jiraiya consoled Ino, looking down her cleavage with hungry eyes. "But it's not all bad. At least we'll have a White Christmas."

"But Jiraiya-dono," Ino countered somewhat nervously as she tied the whole bouquet together, "Konoha always has a White Christmas." Ino pulled out a tag and placed it on the table. "I'll assume you want me to write something nice on it, right?"

Jiraiya nodded and spoke up. "How about, 'Come with me to a wonderful Christmas. Meet me in the Brass Bangle Christmas night at 9:30 pm.'" And with that Ino wrote it down as she would write any tag for a bouquet. All part of working at a flower shop, after all.

"Alright then." Ino said as she stepped to the register to ring up Jiraiya's bill. "That will be five hundred ryo." Without further waiting Jiraiya paid the bill and took the bouquet, still smiling merrily at Ino as she stepped toward the door and opened it for him. "Thank you for your patronage and please come again. Good luck with the special someone and have a happy holidays."

Jiraiya stepped up to the door, looked outside into the snowy evening twilight and then back to Ino, who rose an eyebrow. With a sly grin Jiraiya swept Ino up in his arms and dipped her near to the ground, his body looming over hers and providing all the balance and strength he needed to hold her up with absolutely nothing more, giving Ino the feeling she had been swept up by a cloud. "Thank you very much for the bouquet, but I think you should be the one to get this present, Ino-san." Ino, looking up at Jiraiya, was too awe-struck to deny him when he placed in her hands the very bouquet that she had made for him to give away. A red blush went over her face as Jiraiya delicately lifted her back to her feet before stepping out with a chuckle. Ino found her legs soon losing strength and fell back into a chair that Jiraiya had set her near, her body all fevered and blushing.

So the strangest day ever had gone by. Ino had been hit on by none other than Jiraiya, the toad sage himself. Not only had Jiraiya hit on Ino in a VERY personal manner... but Ino was worrying somewhat that she had actually liked it somewhat. She felt so conflicted about it all. After all, what woman didn't like the thought of a man swooping in and pulling her off her feet in romantic style? Still he was so much older and such a pervert... but didn't that mean, if anyone had experience in what Jiraiya did it would have had to be Jiraiya? Age didn't always speak of weakness and loss of appearance. Jiraiya had aged very well, in fact. He still had that huge white mane of hair and the same form. He hadn't changed a day from when Ino had been twelve. Ino had wasted a lot of time Shikamaru hunting throughout her early ninja days. Maybe she needed to look around for other people.

For a time she had thought of going after Chouji. However, at some point the big guy had warranted the attention of someone else who Ino hadn't suspected. A young woman named Ibana Maya had come from the southern continent far south of the Fire Country. The little, dark skinned woman latched onto the food loving Akimichi as soon as she saw him and the two married soon afterward. Since then romance hadn't been too high on Ino's priority list, for one reason or another. However, Jiraiya's sudden inclusion into Ino's otherwise bland life as a civilian during the holiday season had surprised her to the possibilities of just what could have been right in front of her that very moment.

Meanwhile, Jiraiya walked through Konoha, thinking about Ino. He hadn't thought about it before but Ino had been a close friend of Naruto's and any close female friend of his former student was a friend Jiraiya wouldn't mind being all too close to. After all, none of the old rookies looked too bad. Jiraiya had honestly to ask himself how nobody had come on down to claim her. Nevertheless, their losses were turning out to be Jiraiya's gain. He had thought that his whole display had been pretty good. Ino certainly hadn't said no and she seemed to have been quite taken when Jiraiya left her. He was sure she would keep him some company in the next few nights. Before too long he found himself bunking down with a nice young thing in a nearby inn and dreaming blissfully the performance he would put on for Ino on Christmas night. It was just a matter of time, after all.

The next day Ino awoke to find a bouquet of flowers lying beside her in her bed. Where had that come from? Soon enough Ino remembered what had happened the previous evening. Jiraiya had stopped by and she had made him that bouquet and he had dipped her and given it back to her as a present, after paying for it, of course. It seemed Ino had just been so flabbergasted about it all that she hadn't ever let go of the bouquet, even going to bed. As she looked at the work of flower art that she had sculpted she thought for a second. It was nice to know that someone was after her this Christmas, but Jiraiya? It all seemed a bit too difficult to process that moment. Still, it seemed sweet, even if Ino knew that it was just Jiraiya trying to pick up a bed-warmer for Christmas night.

She sat up and stretched with a yawn, shaking the covers from her sparsely dressed body and shivering a bit in the morning chill. As Ino looked out her window she smiled to see that, sometime during the night, the snow had stopped falling an had left a beautiful sheet of ice in the morning light that shone like so many diamonds scattered around the surface of the fluffy white that covered Konoha. No children had woken up yet to get out into the snow and so it had been untouched since the previous night. The sun made the snow glimmer and shine an Ino was surprised to see such beautiful snow. Little did the Yamanaka maiden know just how much this scene of natural wonder was more staged than she could have thought.

Jiraiya didn't always make huge presentations of his abilities like this but he had thought on it a bit that morning and, getting up before sunrise, sculpted the sheets of ice an snow for Ino to was up to. In fact, the perverted sage was sitting right below Ino's window as she marveled at his handiwork. Granted this all could have happened naturally, were Konoha not the bustling village that it actually was. Naturally stray animals and early risers would have ruined the snow but Jiraiya had kept that from happening for the past few hours as well as using a few jutsu to smooth out the snow surface and to give it that special shine. Fortunately for Jiraiya Ino hadn't seen him under her window and instead turned to get dressed, which The perverted hermit took immediate and great pleasure in watching, if only for a small peek before sneaking masterfully away. Two days until Christmas night and Jiraiya had so much ground to cover, having lost out for so many years in not noticing the potential of a rookie like Ino.

After getting dressed Ino stepped outside into the snow-laden streets of Konoha, taking in the scenery of the village streets covered in snow, feet of it even. Ino's small shoes sank deep into the snow quite quickly and she had to focus chakra into her feet to keep from sinking thigh deep into the snow from the previous night. With a slight sigh she realized that, inevitably, someone would have to clean everything up and, with Ino's freakish strength, having focused on similar training to what Haruno Sakura had, she would probably be the most likely candidate to point a finger at for snow shoveling duty. Still it was pretty while it lasted, that was for sure. Ino grabbed a shovel, beating anyone to the punch before they could say "Hey Ino, you should get out there and shovel the front way," as she knew her mother was likely to do once she saw the snow outside.

As she began to go to work she noted the children bursting out of nearby doors, eager to get on with a day of making igloos, snow angels and having snowball fights. She smiled as she saw a couple of rambunctious children start a wrestling match in the deepest part of the snow they could find. As Ino shoveled she felt at peace, strangely enough. Normally such work would make Ino groan and have to grin and bear it,. However, on such a lovely day Ino found it hard to be anything but content. She shoveled for a while before a familiar face blessed her presence. Jiraiya himself came up and smiled, "Need any help there, Ino-san?" He asked playfully

"Nothing in particular, Jiraiya-dono..." Ino said with a slight blush, looking away from Jiraiya as she oriented her shovel elsewhere, "Just shoveling the snow. Someone's got to do it, after all, and we can't expect my lazy father to bother with it or my mom either."

Jiraiya inwardly reeled at this fact. He hadn't thought that the apple of his eye would be the one to clean up after the display he had made for her. "W-Well that just won't do, now will it?" Jiraiya stuttered out to save face, forming some hand seals. "Katon: Endan!" He cried as fire spewed from his lips, melting the snow in front of the flower shop well enough to keep the water from getting away while also controlling the fire enough to keep from melting the rest of the nearby snow. Ino hadn't thought of tis, though she probably wouldn't have managed any fire jutsu well enough to manage what Jiraiya had done. So far as being a Katon user, Ino wasn't one.

She smiled a bit. Who knew that Jiraiya of the Sannin was quite as nice as this. Maybe the old pervert had something more in his head than just women. Then again, that's probably what Jiraiya wanted Ino to think. Of course, she was right. However, Jiraiya would have been loathe to let her know that. "Th-Thank you, Jiraiya-dono." Ino got out before Jiraiya gave her a bow, taking his time in walking away, seeming genuine. At this point in the game Jiraiya's only hope was to get the girl to like him quickly through simple things. Ino wouldn't be amazed at his skills since she herself, was an accomplished shinobi. She wouldn't be excited by cheap presents. After all, her family owned a flower shop. Cheap gifts weren't likely to sway Ino's heart for any large amount of time. She could probably see past such tricks easily.

However, in the world of the shinobi, things like clearing snow out of a walkway, being a generally helpful person. That sort of thing could get a few brownie points which could easily become much more given the correct circumstances. Jiraiya was something of an expert at getting those points to stack up quickly and he had only two days to make up for years of lost time with one of his former student's friend. This would be a battle to remember, if it could count as one at all.

As Ino set up the shop her father stepped out; Yamanaka Inoichi in all of his half asleep splendor. His shirt was off and he wore a pair of old pants to cover up what needed covering. A glazed look filled his eyes as he stumbled around the shop proper. "Morning.." Inoichi muttered as he scratched his head, blinking one eye at a time, "Wha's brefast..." He muttered again

"For you," Ino started, looking at her father a little doubtfully, "A few cups of coffee to start with..." with that Ino forgot briefly about the shop and ducked into the back area, the house proper. The Yamanaka flower shop, obviously, was where Ino and family lived. Behind the flower shop proper was their home, including the kitchen and thus the coffee maker. Inoichi wasn't much of a morning person unless he had his morning coffee, the daily grind at it's best. It didn't take long, of course. Ino made a pot of coffee and watched her father drink it down without any difficulty at all. Before long Ino's mother wandered downstairs and stated breakfast proper for everyone. Ino's mother bore many resemblances to Ino just as her father did. It wasn't surprising that Ino looked exactly as she did based off genetics.

Breakfast came in the form of eggs, bacon, pancakes and a whole mess of other foods that Ino normally wouldn't have the room to take in. However, she was feeling especially hungry this morning and the normal "Just toast for me" that Ino normally spoke up didn't happen. She gladly accepted anything her mother would slap on her plate. "Any plans for today, Ino?" Inoichi asked as he shoved a piece of thick bacon into his cheeks, chewing merrily. "Any good boys for Christmas this year?"

Ino practically choked on her pancakes at these words. Of course she didn't have anybody for Christmas. Hen again, there was Jiraiya. No, that was clearly a trap. "N-Not really..." Ino said quietly as she shoved the rest of her pancake into her mouth.

"Well at least our daughter has a healthy appetite this morning." Ino's mother commented with a chuckle.

Ino blushed at this and began eating slower. Inoichi laughed. "It surprises me that my daughter, of all people, is going to be without a nice young man for Christmas. Normally you're such a go-getter for that kind of stuff. What about one of your friends?"

"All of my friends are taken, Dad." Ino explained as she cut Ino her eggs, the yolk running from the middle and soaking into her nearby pieces of toast. "I'm fine without a boyfriend, anyway."

Inoichi gave another laugh as he sipped on yet another cup of coffee that Ino's mother had just made. "Well, alright," He said with a smile "But don't come complaining to me when you're alone Christmas eve. I'll just assume tat, if you don't come back home, you're busy with a fine young man... at least he better be a fine young man. I don't want to have to worry about giving the threatening father to boyfriend talk about how important you are to me."

Ino sighed. That talk had been given to three men, not including Shikamaru or Chouji, who Inoichi already considered fine young men simply because Ino had bee on a tea with them for so long and that Inoichi was part of the old InoShikaChou and thus had very little worries for the members of the current team with that designation. Before long even Ino wolfed down her food and Inoichi approached her. "Ino," Ino turned to look at her father, "How about you take the next few days ff. It's Christmas time, after all and I wouldn't want my only daughter to be stuck working through Christmas. Go out and enjoy yourself."

Ino nodded, a little relieved but still not feeling anything out of the ordinary. It was just snow and holidays, nothing Ino hadn't dealt with year after year after year for the past twenty-four. After so long without having anybody but the team and family for Christmas, Ino didn't see it as Christmas time romance as Christmas Time Bullshit. She was sure, for some people like Shikamaru and Chouji, hat Christmas now meant lovely romantic nights by the fire with sukiyaki and all that good stuff but Ino hadn't ever had what could be called an actual boyfriend. She didn't know all of the ins and outs of various holiday routines or superstition and didn't particularly care. Then again, at least she got the time off. That was enough to make Ino happy for the holidays. As she walked through the snow covered streets of Konoha Ino looked around at all of the activity. It was two days from Christmas and all of the people were having so much fun. The vendors in the market were laughing with customers over various holiday time jokes and preparing their shops for the last day before Christmas eve, when everything would be closed.

Briefly Ino recognized someone in the crowd. Briefly she recognized him even better when she saw how tall he stood, actually sitting atop a gigantic dog of sorts. Inuzuka Kiba was the one from the original rookie nine who would have to be, if called anything, the resident party animal of Konohagakure No Sato. So fa as Ino knew he was single and, even if he sometimes didn't bathed, (Something Ino suspected he picked up from Akamaru) he wasn't too bad to look at. In fact, the years had sculpted Kiba into a fine man, if a little overactive. Maybe Ino could score a night with Kiba, then. After all, he was a nice guy and Ino wasn't all too picky at this point in the game. She shuffled her way through the crowd and snow and finally got to Kiba, straining her neck to look up at him as he sat atop Akamaru's back. "Kiba-kun." She said simply to catch Kiba's attention.

Kiba looked down and smiled. "Ino-chan! What's up?"

"Nothing especially worth noting," Ino replied, starting up the conversation. "How have you been?"

"I've been great. Hanabi-chan and I are spending Christmas together!" Ino's hopes sank, "I was surprised her old man let her but I'm happy for it."

"So you and Hanabi-san are together then?" Ino asked, remembering Hyuuga Hanabi, the Ice Queen Of Konoha. How had Kiba scored a girl like her, who seem,d to care nothing about anything save work and training, much less Christmas.

"Well," Kiba said with a nervous grin, "It took a while but I suppose you could call us an item. She was really resistant at first but she came around. And now I get to share the night with Hanabi-chan and a few hot cups of cocoa... maybe more." Ino could see that this wasn't going to work out so, instead of continuing the charade she simply turned on her heel and walked away, noting the lewd look in Kiba's eyes. No better than Jiraiya...

Kiba didn't seem to call after her so Ino was free to go where she pleased. Without particularly thinking about it she arrived at the park; And so did yet another familiar face to Ino. Sai sat not too far away in he snow, reading a book. Ino had always had a fondness for the pale artist. After all, he had always said such good things about her, calling her beautiful and lovely time and again Over the past years he had matured a bit, so far as feelings went. He got them now, somewhat. Maybe he would be a good target for Christmas Time Bullshit. Ino walked through the snow up to him, though he didn't seem to notice her at all as she approached. "What are you reading?" Ino asked as she leaned down.

"The Fine Art of Flouting" Sai said simply, without turning to Ino.

"It sounds interesting," Ino said with her sweetest smile.

"Not particularly," Sai replied, still not bothering to turn his head from the book. "It's just a good tool to pass the time."

Ino was a bit annoyed by the fact that Sai hadn't noticed her at all, save for verbally. Still she had a chance, didn't she? "What are you doing this for Christmas, Sai-kun?" She asked politely

"I have an appointment with my partner, Aryū-san. We will be spending the days together." Sai said, still not noticing Ino. Ino didn't see the point in continuing the discussion, however, and left Sai like she did Kiba, without a goodbye or anything of that sort. He had a girl for the holidays and clearly was to busy with his book to turn his head to see her. Maybe someone else would be for the best. She always had Jiraiya... No! That was a no-no. Jiraiya was an enemy of women!

Ino continued walking through Konoha. She found herself at Ichiraku Ramen, which was astounding based on Ino's normal hatred of ramen. However, her hatred quickly returned for the shop as she stepped into the shop and noted Haruno Sakura an Uchiha Itachi eating ramen and chatting with Ayame and Teuchi, laughing about what they would be doing for Christmas. Of course, Itachi wasn't laughing but that wasn't too out of the ordinary Ino didn't even want to deal with it and simply turned and walked off.

A couple hours of simply touring Konoha put Ino in something of a foul mood. Shino wasn't open, though Ino didn't fancy the Aburame that much; Too many bugs. Uzumaki Naruto, who Ino had recently been catching a fancy for, had found some young thing that would give him the time of day and now they were together for the holidays. It was a real shame, too. Ino had been really warming up to the thought of having the Jinchuuriki as a boyfriend recently. Neji, thought attractive and powerful, wasn't interested in Ino at all, so it seemed. In fact, Tenten had already beaten Ino to the punch. The two were walking hand in hand all over Konoha. For a moment Ino thought on Rock Lee but grimaced shortly after the thought, changing her mind. Besides, Lee was with someone else, wasn't he? Some Moon Country girl named Chihara. Ino hadn't ever met her but she knew of the woman. Apparently the two were a match made in heaven as well. Ino wouldn't rain on their parade Kakashi had Anko, which was sad because there wasn't a woman in Konoha who didn't find Hatake Kakashi at least somewhat sexually attractive. There was always Jiraiya...

Again that stupid nagging at the back of Ino's head. Jiraiya had, after all, been very helpful and very nice to Ino. But it was clearly all just a front. It was all a trick to get up Ino's skirt. The man had no shame... and yet Ino still couldn't stop thinking about him after his acts the day before and that morning. Maybe, just maybe, Ino could trust him just this once, since there was nobody else.

As if on cue, Jiraiya appeared, walking out of a nearby vendor that Ino was passing. "Ino-san, so nice to see you out and about. What are you up to today?" Jiraiya said, seeming surprised. In actuality he was quite so, not having expected to see Ino so soon.

Ino jumped a bit as Jiraiya popped out of the cloth door that was the entrance to the vendor. "J-Jiraiya-dono! I... I'm not doing anything." Ino sputtered out as she stepped away from Jiraiya. What were the chances of that?

Jiraiya smiled. He would have to work some magic quickly. He hadn't planned to see Ino so soon and thus wasn't as prepared as he would have liked to be. But he did have money... "Well if you're not doing anything how about you take a walk with me. Maybe go out for some food or something like that. It's on me."

Ino blushed at this, a little surprised. "I don't think I should-"

"Nonsense!" Jiraiya cut in, setting his arm around Ino's shoulder. "I know just the place to go. How about you come with me and I'll show you." With that Jiraiya began to drag Ino off, "They've got all sots of delicious things like fatty tuna and really good drinks," And the worst part about it was that, for some reason, "And maybe afterward I could take you shopping. It's Christmas, after all. You need to get good presents for yourself. It'll all be on me, nothing to worry about," Ino wasn't bothering to try to get away. "You just wait. I'll make you proud you chose to spend time with the Sannin Jiraiya, Ino-san." She just nodded blankly and followed.

While Ino had guessed the day to be horrible it turned out to be just the opposite. The restaurant Jiraiya took Ino to was spectacular. It seemed so fancy, though so out of the way. The food was exquisite and the service magnificent. Jiraiya asked so many questions about Ino; what she did for fun, what her life was like recently, what kind of missions she preferred most, etc. The Yamanaka woman hadn't expected Jiraiya to be so... perfect. Whether it was all a ruse to get Ino into bed with him or not Jiraiya certainly knew how to play the game of impressing women. One surprise was that he wasn't actively trying to shove drinks down her throat. Normally any man who wanted nothing more than sex, as Ino was still sure Jiraiya was after, was often eager to make his potential partner drink as much as possible. Jiraiya, instead, only asked Ino if she wanted a drink when she seemed thirsty and certainly didn't order for her or encourage her drinking. By the time the dinner was done Ino was comfortable, confident and a little tipsy, though only just a bit.

Jiraiya walked out of the restaurant with Ino, holding her arm in his own as she steadied herself on him whilst walking. He was truly a gentleman if there ever was one, or at least knew how to act as one. It was really quite impressive. "How about a nice shopping trip. Just tell me what you want, Ino-san and 'll get it for you." Jiraiya said with a grin almost as wide as his face. Before long Jiraiya spirited Ino away to go shopping for new clothing, which she took gross advantage of. Several stores later Jiraiya walked with Ino toward her home, carrying bags of clothing from his arms. "So?" He asked casually, "Was it worth your time, Ino-san?"

Ino was caught off guard by this somewhat. She had been so lost in the day that she had forgotten all about her morning woes. "It was... Good," Ino said quietly as she walked, "Thank you for your generosity, Jiraiya-dono."

"Any time, Ino-san. You just name it and I'll be there." Jiraiya said with a sly smile. "Any thoughts on Christmas yet? Going to take my invitation?"

Ino froze for a moment, looking up into the crisp night air and then down at the day old snow. It had been beautiful that morning but the day's activities had made it something less than attractive. Now that she thought about it, what would she say in response? It would be rude to have taken advantage of all of Jiraiya's kindness and then not go with him for Christmas after he had invited her. But what if Ino was still right. What if all of this was still just a trap. Jiraiya was a master of girl-chasing. Ino didn't want to be just another woman on Jiraiya's wall of fame. She turned and looked back to Jiraiya and wondered. What to do? What to do? "J-Jiraiya-dono?" Ino started shyly.

"Yes, Ino-san?" Jiraiya asked back.

"Thank you for your gifts and the meal... but I'm just not sure yet. It's so sudden and I'm just not sure what to think." Ino stated after hesitating for some time. "M-Maybe... Maybe we should just go our separate ways for tonight. Again... Thank you, Jiraiya-dono." And before poor Jiraiya could answer Ino grabbed the bags from his hand and ran off into the night back home.

Jiraiya sighed, seeing such a prize go. He'd never had this kind of trouble with a girl. She knew his history, though. Still, she attracted him even more now because of that; because she was smart about things. Jiraiya couldn't quite put his finger on it but Ino was something special, beyond the average woman. Jiraiya wanted to know more. He wanted desperately to know more. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve. If he couldn't get her by the end of tomorrow the game would truly be on. Jiraiya smiled and turned to stride off with a chuckle. It didn't take him too long to find a lonely girl so close to Christmas for the night. After a relatively short session of love making Jiraiya lay awake in bed, his mind full of thoughts on Yamanaka Ino, who was certainly not the partner passed out next to him. He wondered just what made Ino tick, what made the Yamanaka girl react as he would want her to. Ino was indeed an interesting girl to chase.

The next day it snowed. Christmas Eve was a day that would view feet of snow hit the ground without even the slightest breeze to push the snow around. It started in the morning, Jiraiya excusing himself from his former partner and Ino getting up to take a morning jog. Just because it was Christmas Eve didn't mean she could slack on the working out. People got fat in the holiday season. Ino was feeling a bit more hungry. As of late, which was odd but not unknown. She didn't want to put on too much extra weight. After all, she had a figure to watch and uphold the best she could; She was a ninja. As she passed the park on her run she spotted Jiraiya yet again, lying back on a bench. He looked at no as she ran through the falling snow and called out to her. "Good morning, Ino-san. Happy Christmas Eve. Did you sleep well last night?" Ino looked over to Jiraiya and smiled but kept running She wanted to flush out the thoughts o Jiraiya as quickly as possible and not give him any chance to replace them or add more thoughts to her already overfull list.

Jiraiya, however, was not going to be gotten rid of so easily. Instead he stood and jogged after Ino, calling out to her again. "Well that's no way to react to a man who has done so many nice things for you the past two days."

"I meant no disrespect, Jiraiya-dono." Ino said, trying to stay proper. "I am just taking a morning jog."

Jiraiya kept pace with Ino for a time and then spoke. "So what are your plans today, Ino-san?"

Ino thought on that herself. Most likely all of her friends would be with their respective partners, spending Christmas Eve together. In fact, Ino didn't doubt that, through the whole day, she probably wouldn't see her parents. They too probably wanted the day to themselves, just for personal "alone" time. So what would she say to Jiraiya about her plans, since she had none but didn't want to get pulled into a day with him again, lest he win the unspoken battle that raged between the two of them; Jiraiya trying to woo Ino into spending Christmas with him and Ino fighting the good fight and resisting his advances. She couldn't say she was going to any business area of any sort. Everything was closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas proper. Her mind struggled for a good answer, "Fishing!" Ino blurted out without too much thought, still stuck in her own mental battle. " Ice Fishing! I'm going ice fishing." It wasn't too good an answer but it was all she had. And now, the worst part of it, was that Ino would have to deliver on her words and actually spend Christmas Eve ice fishing. Now how lame a Christmas Eve was that?"

Jiraiya was confused at the answer he received She was going Ice Fishing. Well that was a strange thing to do on Christmas Eve but everyone had their quirks, he supposed. In fact, he was a little interested in Ino's fishing. He wasn't aware that women liked ice fishing, much less Ino. In fact, if he had guessed that she didn't like it, he would have been right. Still, thee was some doubt in Jiraiya's mind that Ino was going to actually go fishing at all. Maybe it was just an attempt to get away from Jiraiya. He wouldn't have bee surprised. He had seen it before more than once. He wasn't a fool after all, even if he was a pervert. "I'd like to see that, Ino-san. Would you mind if I tagged along. I'll be quiet so as not to scare away the fish."

Ino was again caught in a mental battle. He'd seen past the ridiculousness of Ino's words and was now calling her on it. All she had wanted to do was have a nice morning jog. Why did Jiraiya have to get involved in all of this? "I suppose I wouldn't mind..." Ino said as she ran. Now she would be stuck with Jiraiya all day again. Still, there was an itching at the back of her mind that told her that it might not have been as bad as she was making it out to be.

"I think I may just have a good spot in mind too." Jiraiya said with a grin "It's this nice lake outside Konoha."

"Really?" Ino asked, somewhat intrigued. She supposed she had to go with Jiraiya for Christmas eve, so as not to dig herself into an even deeper hole. On the plus side, Jiraiya said he knew a good spot, which meant that Ino didn't have to meander around the area outside Konoha for a good fishing spot, looking stupid trying to do something she barely knew the first thing about. Of all things, ice fishing. "Could you take me?"

Jiraiya was more than happy to let Ino get changed into something new and lead Ino to a small lake behind the village of Konohagakure o Sato proper. It wasn't anything spectacular. The frozen surface was easily thick enough to walk atop without fear of falling in though not so thick as to keep someone from drilling though were they wanting to. Jiraiya used Doton jutsu to make a small fort out on the ice and a couple of stone chairs. Ino used water jutsu to warm a certain place on the ice so that they could get through. To Ino's surprise, Jiraiya was quite adept at ice fishing. He knew what he needed on know and well more. How knowledgeable he was in the ways of the world, in the ways of so many things Ino wouldn't have thought any man would bother learning. At first it seemed superfluous but son enough Ino realized how nice it was to know so many small things about the world, like how to properly go ice fishing.

Time stretched by while Ino and Jiraiya fished, exchanging words and catching things before too long. Ino laughed as she pulled a little minnow out of the water just as Jiraiya pulled out a whopper of a fish at the very same time. After the laughing died down and the big fish had been taken care of, Ino letting the minnow go, Jiraiya spoke up. "So tell me honestly, Ino-san," he started, getting Ino's attention. "You weren't really thinking of fishing today, were you?"

Ino hesitated for a moment, thinking on her words from earlier that day. "No," She admitted, "My schedule was entirely bare."

"I thought as much, though you still went fishing like you said you were." Jiraiya said with a smile.

"Of course not!" Ino said quickly and with a bit of force, "I don't lie. If I say my plans are ice fishing then they are changed to ice fishing."

"It's a very good thing to do if you are willing to put your word to it," Jiraiya said with a smile as he loaded his bait and cast the line into the ice hole once again. "Ice fishing is something you can't do in any kind of city. You need to go somewhere secluded like a frozen lake for ice fishing. I've found myself enjoying weeks out in the wilderness, just catching fish and enjoying the emptiness of the arctic."

Ino was amazed that Jiraiya had spent time on such things. It could have been another trick to impress her but Ino doubted that Jiraiya ever particularly lied. He was a Sannin, after all. He sort of already had backed up his claims of power. Still, that he had done that, something other than fighting and chasing after women in what was probably a 30/70 split in the mind of Ino, was something that she liked to have faith in. It was something to distract her from all of the perversion and fanfare of "The Great Sannin Jiraiya." She reeled her line back in to see that the bait was gone and that it had been nibbled away. With a sigh she reached into the bait box and picked out a worm. She didn't care for the sliminess of such creatures and found them just disgusting but, for some reason, it seemed to matter less. "Jiraiya-dono," Ino began, getting Jiraiya to turn his head to her, "Why have you been showing me such attention the past few days?" She asked, "Why do you care now when I have been in what could be considered your personal life for years."

"Well," Jiraiya started back, "It's because you're cute, of course." Ino didn't like this at all and was about to retort but Jiraiya spoke first, continuing his point. "But it's not just that anymore. I'm just interested now. It occurs to me that I've left myself out of some easy targets from earlier in life but when I spend time with you my life seems a bit more fulfilled." Jiraiya reeled his line in and placed the rod down, looking into the fishing hole. His face held a sad sort of smile. "It's just strange to feel the fleeting steps of youth again, you know? I'm an old man and even if I'm well off in the health department it doesn't change the case a damned bit."

"Then why don't you settle down?" Ino asked, a little conflicted by Jiraiya's words. "Surely someone would take you."

"For a night, perhaps. Until death... the thought alone scares me." Jiraiya sighed.

Ino sighed similarly. for reasons completely separate from why Jiraiya was sighing, of course. "Maybe you could try working on that sort of thing some time soon." Ino, however couldn't hold back the smile that drew upon her lips. It was just so strange that Jiraiya, of all people, was talking to Ino about this. He really wasn't that bad, after all. He may have been a woman jumping pervert normally but now he was just another person like Ino with his own problems, just like Ino.

Before long the two left the fishing spot. It wasn't dark yet but the sun was clearly leaving the skies. Twilight shone down on the from lake as the pair stepped across it, the last rays of sun hitting the ice and making the lake shine with a sort of otherworldly light. Ino's eyes went wide as soon as she saw the splendor, and so did Jiraiya's. This was something neither of them had borne witness too before and the spectacle was impressive, to say the least. It was like priceless gems floated on the ice; not just diamonds but a multitude of various colors due to the refractive nature of the ice and the show that the sun made through the now pink, orange and yellow cloud covering. For a time the two stared in awe at the scene though, before long, the sun set a bit more and, the light not being just right, faded.

"That was beautiful..." Ino muttered as she stared at the last vestiges of the scene fading away as the sun did.

"It was." Jiraiya said, a smile stretching across is face as he turned and began to walk away, beckoning Ino come with him. There wasn't really anything to be had here anymore, though it was a VERY nice fishing trip and they did indeed get a few good catches. "What do you want to do next, Ino-san?

Ino looked at Jiraiya and blushed a bit. "I..." Ino paused for a moment. "I'm not sure, Jiraiya-dono." Ino said shyly, "It's Christmas Eve. Maybe I should go home and spend some time with my family."

Jiraiya didn't buy it, as he shouldn't have. The one thing that should have been on the minds of Ino's parents was privacy while they spent some much valued time to themselves. However, instead of calling Ino out on it he simply gave her a look that asked why she was avoiding things. Ino caved. "I'm just not sure, Jiraiya-dono. You're so much older than I am and I'm sure there are better women for you out there. I mean... I just don't know about... you know what I mean." Ino stammered, unsure as she looked at her feet.

Jiraiya smiled and stepped toward Ino as she floundered with her words, trying to avoid things even still. He leaned down and put his hands on Ino's shoulders, looking her in the eyes and forcing her o pay attention to him. "How about we go to a nice place and I buy you a drink?"

Ino couldn't describe what was going on. She wasn't sure. Instead she simply nodded her head and followed Jiraiya. The walk wasn't too log. There were out of Konoha proper but that didn't mean it was very far to the nearest way in and the nearest good bar wasn't much farther. Ino and Jiraiya ducked into The Blushing Crane, a small bar in a back alley, as all of Jiraiya's favorite places seemed to be, that featured a live crane at the door that eyed customers as they walked in. The crane was very nice and didn't sap or peck at Jiraiya or Ino. Ino was quite surprised, actually, that such a place was open on Christmas Eve but it certainly was.

The near empty bar featured a couple of nice waitresses, the chef and the bartender, all of which didn't have anywhere to go for the holidays so they found comfort in each other at work. They were delighted to see Jiraiya and Ino step into their establishment and apparently they were all very good friends with Jiraiya; some of them, namely the waitresses, better friends than others. Jiraiya ordered up a couple of drinks for the two of them and made smalltalk with the waitresses, giving compliments and sweet-talking the ladies Overall it was a class act for Jiraiya's skills. He was showing Ino just what he did for a hobby; pick up women and use them for his own pleasure.

Then again he never lied about anything. He was just talking to women and using well placed truths to earn flattery. Ino saw through it, of course, and was a bit tired of it after not too long. Before long she had gone through quite a few very delicious beverages and her head swam, Jiraiya's flirtation only making the blond want to drink more to drown it out. "Oh," One of the waitresses piped up, "Is your friend okay?" She asked as she referenced Ino's seeming inability to keep herself upright, her face against the table.

"I think she's reached her limit." One of the other waitresses laughed. "Poor little girl, having to follow Jiraiya-sama around. I wonder what you really think of her, Jiraiya-sama." the waitress smiled.

Jiraiya was taken aback by the statement and grinned nervously. "It's not that I'm just playing with her, ladies." He insisted, "I mean It was kind of like that at first but I'm a gentleman. I don't want her only for my own masculine selfishness."

"Is that so?" Ino spoke up, waking up a bit, her head clouded from so many drinks, all of which Jiraiya had said he would pay for, thus inhibiting Ino's consumption even less. "All ya do ish flirt with girlsh." Ino said, lifting her head somewhat. "N-Nobody flirtsh with me. Not Shikamaru or Chouji or nushin. Life'sh hard, ya know?" Ino asked giggling drunkenly.

"I think she needs some food." the bartender said with a smile. "Alright, you're cut off, Ino-san. Azuma, make Ino-san something hardy that'll fill her stomach. She's had too much and no food."

Before long the chef made Ino some food and Ino gratefully ate it, sobering up some bit but still more than drunk. Jiraiya got her up before long and bid farewell to everyone. He walked Ino out of the bar and back toward the Yamanaka Flower Shop. Ino stumbled a bit but it was, mostly, smooth sailing. However, half way there Ino became animate, her head rising as some crazy idea seemed to flow through her clouded mind. "Where are we goin?" She asked, pushing herself somewhat away from Jiraiya.

"Bringing you home, Ino-san." Jiraiya said with a smile as he reached out to steady Ino again.

"I dun like the shound o that!" Ino cut in, pushing away from Jiraiya but still keeping hold of his hand. "It'sh Chrishtmash Eve! We gotta do shomethin!" It didn't take Ino long to start dragging Jiraiya away from her home's location.

"Where are we going?" Jiraiya asked playfully, smiling as Ino led him on.

"Goin to finish da job!" iIno exclaimed, raising her free hand into the air as she stumbled onward, rounding a corner and leading Jiraiya straight into a love hotel, which she paid for and dragged him into before he could raise argument. Before long Ino and Jiraiya burst into their hotel room and Ino lay on the bed and passed out.

Jiraiya looked at her. She was so vulnerable, so easy to take. His mind reeled over the possibilities. He closed in, his hands ready to do anything they wanted, his manly urges pushing him even further. It had all paid off! In fact, it had been her idea! Still, as Jiraiya looked at Ino sleeping he couldn't do it. He couldn't take advantage of Ino because she was so vulnerable and easy to take for his own. It just felt wrong. He looked at her and sighed, a smile running across his lips. He took a shower and tucked Ino in, laying beside her protectively. He really was going soft with age, wasn't he? Of course just because he couldn't touch didn't mean he couldn't look. A few peeks later and Jiraiya was pleased with the day's accomplishments. He was sleeping with Ino, if only just that. The next day was the day that would decide everything. Jiraiya wondered momentarily what the day would be like but he fell asleep before long, forgetting his thoughts.

The morning sun shone through the hotel window into Ino's eyes. She stirred for a moment, her lithe body stretching lazily as she woke. As she turned and opened her eyes Jiraiya was there. She resisted, for a moment, screaming with fright. She tried to remember the previous night but it was so cloudy. She remembered drinking a lot. She remembered leaving the bar and she remembered walking through Konoha. She did not remember her drunken nonsense. She did not remember coming to a love hotel and she certainly didn't remember being in a bed with Jiraiya. Then again, she didn't doubt that, through some part of her own, this was her fault as well as his.

Jiraiya soon stirred and woke, looking at Ino. "I want it known," He said sleepily, "That there was never any molestation, undressing you or using your body for anything."

This alone made Ino feel a bit better. Thank goodness for Jiraiya's quick thinking. "A-Alright... umm.."

"Merry Christmas, Ino-san." Jiraiya said, not letting Ino finish her thoughts. "Would you like to go outside and greet the day with me?"

Ino didn't answer. Instead she got up and straightened out her clothing, tying back her hair and nodding slightly, just not sure what to do about all of this but still willing to take her chances. If it had gone this far, there was nothing she could call wrong going further. It was certainly too late to turn back and pretend none of it had happened.

Jiraiya and Ino checked out and they went to a nice little breakfast place which was, still surprisingly, open on Christmas. It never ceased to amaze Ino, these places Jiraiya knew about. Ino ate a few pancakes and a bit of bacon. Jiraiya ate a full, hardy breakfast. After breakfast they made snowmen and walked around Konoha. They spent the day together and, through such actions Jiraiya and Ino grew close quickly. The ice had been wholly shattered, allowing the two of them to speak freely with each other. Ino expressed her preferences and asked questions. Jiraiya told her all about the way he did things, how he picked up the girls he did and many reasons why that Ino had no problem with. Jiraiya loved women; not just any one woman but all women. He believed that being nice to them was the only thing one should do with women and his flirtation was just him expressing his appreciation for women. Ino didn't understand it exactly but it hardly seemed criminal.

When finally the day passed into night Jiraiya and Ino went to The Brass Bangle, Ino having returned home for a bit to change into some nice Christmas formal wear and give note to her parents that she would, in fact, not be spending Christmas with them. The Brass Bangle was a neat little neighborhood restaurant in a heavily residential portion of Konoha. The tables were all hand carved and the place smelled of good, slow cooked meats and fine alcohols. Ino and Jiraiya ate and drank their fill, talking all the while about their lives, about each other to each other. "So, Jiraiya-dono?" Ino started, "I'm still... Unsure of all of this. How do I know it still isn't a trap?"

"You shouldn't," Jiraiya said, "Or else it wouldn't be a trap, now would it?" He smiled and reached into his robe, pulling out a small box and handing it to Ino. "But I worked really hard on that trap for you, Ino-san. So Merry Christmas and please fall into it just this once."

Ino was stunned. She took the box and opened it to see a wonderful sapphire pendant on a platinum chain, sparkling ominously. Jiraiya had gotten that long ago for just any such occasion that it would be well used and he had indeed found that occasion. Ino looked back up at Jiraiya and then back at her present. "W-ell..." She stammered. "I guess... I guess couldn't turn down such c-compelling advances... now could I?" Ino finished with a slight smile. Something finally told her it was going to be okay, even beyond all of the Christmas Time Bullshit.

{HR}

There you have it! Christmas Time Bullshit completed! As you see it ended pretty tame-like but I am planning on making a private little lemon for this store to extend it further into something I can show off to my close buddies online. If you want to see the lemon, please tell me and we can talk about it ^^

Please review, please don't flame and please have a Very Happy Holiday Season!

Yours,

Tankou001


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